Nervous Conversations

I'm feeling down today and I'm really nervous about the first day back to school on Monday. Perhaps it is the abundance of uncertainty in my private life that is making me feel this way. Getting back into a schedule of studying and classes will probably be good for me. This holiday season hasn't been exactly restfull. The holidays always make me feel a little bit stressed and depressed, but this year was worse than usual with Marc getting sick and my financial troubles. I was able to accomplish a few important tasks with all of my free time though including three scholarship applications. One of the application was for a research fellowship that I want to do this summer. I really want this grant and I have a big fear that I won't get it because one of the faculty chairs was my professor last semester and I barely made a B in his class. All I can do now is keep my fingers crossed. I don't know what else I would do this summer if I don't. Probably just vet tech at a clinic somewhere. Boring. I was a little downcast today when I learned that 23 of my classmates have a GPA of 3.75 or higher. That makes my 2.95 look kinda pitiful. I think my new year's resolution will be to get all A's and B's in my classes. I hesitate to set this goal because I tend to be hard on myself especially when I fail. I think I'll go look over some class notes. Maybe that will make me feel more prepared for my classes tomorrow. Then I can take a bath and read a fashion magazine to relax.