A long weekend

Friday I went to Numbers with the regular crew and drank too much, as usual. Good times were had by all, and I'm glad that Edgar was able to loosen up and have at least a little bit of fun. Or he may have had a horrible night, but at least he didn't ruin mine. I didn't really get a lot of studying done this weekend, mostly because I slept all day Saturday; so now I have a giant pile of stuff to read and comprehend before my test on Wednesday. Hmmm things are looking kinda scary. This next weekend is going to be a busy one as well because I have an ethics meeting and dinner with my mentor on Friday evening, and the rest of the weekend is going to be spent alternately attending the TVMA conference going on at school and studying for my hell week of tests the following week. Fun times,I guess. Sigh, spring break is only a month away. And Marc has taken off from work for my birthday which will be something nice to look forward to.

Slogging through the week

It's finally friday which means I have the afternoon off to go take care of the birds and then drive to Houston to see my love. Billy tells me we're going to Numbers tonight, fun times! I'll probably spend the rest of the weekend studying. This week was pretty boring. I think the only highlight was seeing one of my classmates get hit by a car. (She's ok, just a few bruises.) Last night I had dinner with a few friends. I miss the silly girl chatter; it's nice to have people to hang out with again. All of my classmates are going to a casino night fundraiser for our class on Friday, except for me of course. I have gotten no small amount of hassle for skipping out on it. But the tickets are $25 each, I don't like gambling, and it would mean i have to miss seeing marc for three weeks. Not gonna happen. And I don't mind the constant pressure put on me by the ticket sellers. They have a quota to make and they're just doing their job. But for some of my other classmates to grill me about why I'm not going and telling me that I'm not supporting my class. I wanted to scream at the last guy. But I kept smiling and told him in a sweet tone of voice that I'm an antisocial bitch and I don't like seeing my classmates outside of school. Then I went back to reading my magazine. Dumbass.

Just a 24-year old girl

I think the school year stress has started to settle in with a vengeance. I'm getting that overwhelming feeling of inadequacy where I start telling myself that I'm going to fail all of my classes and I'll have to be a test tube jockey for the rest of my life. Which is accompanied by the thoughts that maybe veterinary medicine isn't right for me anyway and I should just quit. Usually calling Marc and talking to him helps to put me back in the right frame of mind, but right now he's going through his own issues and isn't really in any state to offer comfort and encouragement to others. I'm hoping that all of this stress is due to a test I have this afternoon and a rapidly approaching deadline on a project that's at a standstill.

And last night when I was doing my laundry every dryer was full of abandoned clothes. I don't understand why my apartment complex is full of assholes. I had to dump some clothes on the table so that I could dry my clothes, and one pile smelled like it hadn't even been washed with soap. It was so disgusting I decided I wasn't going to use that dryer after all and ran to wash my hands. What is wrong with people in this town? I miss Houston. Here's hoping that February goes better.

So far so good

The second week of classes has not been as productive. I've only gotten a marginal amount of studying done, and the only excercise I've done this week was a killer abs and back class on Tuesday. The class made me feel like a complete wimp and I'm still sore today on Friday. I have high hopes for the weekend because I usually get a good amount of studying done when I'm at Marc's apartment away from the distractions of my computer.

Last night was fun, I went to dinner at a classmate's house and then to an extremely crowded and smokey bar. There was a lot of fun, girly gossip and silliness. At the bar we met up with a big group of vet students and it was fun to hang out and throw back a few shiners while repelling the advances of an extremely cute but drunk as a skunk male classmate. Only at times like these do I wish I was single. Luckily these times are few and far between because I love my man very much. So even though I went home alone, I would call it a lovely evening. Time for school!

1st week down...

Well I made it through the first week back to school. Unfortunately I'm lacking that giddy excitment that marked the beginning of last semester and instead there is a little marble of dread lodged behind my sternum that this spring is going to suck. My classes don't seem interesting but they do have the potential to be hard as hell. It's times like these that I wish I was still on my happy pills. I'm also worried about a classmate who is even more depressed than I am. I'm afraid that she's going to drop out soon because she's really not happy here. It's sad to think that she might not be a part of our class anymore. We've already lost 6 members of the class and while not all of them made an impression in my memory, a few will be genuinely missed.

This past weekend was nice. Not too much excitment, but i did get a lovely hour long massage, and spent the evening at the Houston Museum of Fine Art's Basquiat exhibition party. Cool art, wierd people, free drinks. What more could you want? I spent the rest of the weekend watching football and studying. I've still got a ton of work to do, so I guess I should stop wasting time online and get my books out.

Right now I'm listening to a lot of electronica amongst other things, maybe I'm the drag queen after all. Here's a sample:

NIN - March of the Pigs
Fischerspooner - Emerge
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps
The Distillers - The Hunger
Mirah - The Light
Goldfrapp - Utopia
Echo and the Bunnymen - The Killing Moon
Andy Bell - Crazy
Ladytron - Seventeen
Delerium - Incantation

Things are looking up

The first few days of class have been going ok so far. I like the first week of school because it's the only time of the year that I'm actually caught up in all of my classes, and the stress level is relatively low. Yesterday afternoon I did some studying and then joined a few of my classmates for dinner and a movie. A lovely evening, although I felt like a bit of a heel for not talking to Marc last night except for a quick "Hi, howya doin? Great, I gotta go, have a good night." Tonight I haven't done any studying, but I did go running at the rec center and cleaned my apartment. I'll try to get a little reading done tonight before bed. Tomorrow I have a date to see Brokeback Mountain with a friend from school. I'm excited to see some gay boy sex scenes involving Heath Ledger and Jake Guylenhall. Sigh, if only all this free time could last.

Nervous Conversations

I'm feeling down today and I'm really nervous about the first day back to school on Monday. Perhaps it is the abundance of uncertainty in my private life that is making me feel this way. Getting back into a schedule of studying and classes will probably be good for me. This holiday season hasn't been exactly restfull. The holidays always make me feel a little bit stressed and depressed, but this year was worse than usual with Marc getting sick and my financial troubles. I was able to accomplish a few important tasks with all of my free time though including three scholarship applications. One of the application was for a research fellowship that I want to do this summer. I really want this grant and I have a big fear that I won't get it because one of the faculty chairs was my professor last semester and I barely made a B in his class. All I can do now is keep my fingers crossed. I don't know what else I would do this summer if I don't. Probably just vet tech at a clinic somewhere. Boring. I was a little downcast today when I learned that 23 of my classmates have a GPA of 3.75 or higher. That makes my 2.95 look kinda pitiful. I think my new year's resolution will be to get all A's and B's in my classes. I hesitate to set this goal because I tend to be hard on myself especially when I fail. I think I'll go look over some class notes. Maybe that will make me feel more prepared for my classes tomorrow. Then I can take a bath and read a fashion magazine to relax.

A Long December

Here's to 2006.

A long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember the last thing that you said as You were leaving
Now the days go by so fast
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think that I could be forgiven...I wish you would
The smell of hospitals in winter
And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls
All at once you look across a crowded room
To see the way that light attaches to a girl
And it's one more day up in the canyons
And it's one more night in Hollywood
If you think you might come to California...I think you should
Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower about the things You could not show her
And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can't remember all the times I tried to tell myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass
And it's one more day up in the canyon
And it's one more night in Hollywood
It's been so long since I've seen the ocean...I guess I should

The party is over

So much has happened in a week. I never thought that I would be away from my computer for so long! I'll have to quickly recap:

Friday 12/30 - Crazy fun at Numbers, much drinking, new haircut admired by all.

Saturday 12/31 - New Year's eve at Numbers, much drinking, spanked by lesbian, lost my cellphone.

Sunday 1/1 - I drive back to College Station in the evening having spent a wild weekend in Houston. At 8:30 Marc calls and says he's headed to the ER, so I drive back to Houston and spend the night in the ER and manage to get a couple of hours of sleep.

Monday 1/2 - is pretty much me spending all day in the hospital and getting no sleep at night. I vaguely remember going to the mall with Billy. Did that happen on Monday?

Tuesday 1/3 - Buy horrifyingly expensive cell phone that really sucks. I miss my old phone. Spend day in hospital. Drive back to College Station in the evening, throw some food into the pet's bowls, water my plants, and drive back to Houston the same night. I get a few hours of sleep that night.

Wednesday 1/4 - See Monday

Thursday 1/5 - Marc is back home but I think I'm going to have to spend the rest of the weekend recovering. My stress level was so high that my mouth is full of canker sores.

Friday 1/6 - I drive back to College Station, this time to stay. I got some much needed errands run. I could really use some stress relief, so I think I'll stay in tonight, maybe take a long bath, and read a book. Tomorrow I'll sleep late and go workout at the rec center. Hopefully that will banish the rest of my tension.